Hold on to your hats, folks, because the SEC, ACC, and Patriot League have hatched a new rule that will ruffle a few tail feathers and elicit thousands of eye rolls along the way. In an attempt to curb the rowdy, inebriated antics of college students, these three conferences have put their foot down on the seemingly innocent footwear staple — regular boots. That’s right, as of fall 2023, there is a boot ban, calling them “…flask smuggling devices.” Unfortunately, we expect more college conferences to follow suit.
Clear bag, clear boots, no problem. Influencers are already taking this announcement and running with it, dressing up their looks with colorful socks and pedicures in their team’s colors. Image: @kate_da_great on Instagram
Here, @kate_da_great sports her clear boots for this fall’s University of Memphis games. Go Tigers! Image: Instagram
The Boot Ban
Citing the sneaky flask-smuggling tendencies of students, officials have declared that any footwear that extends above the ankle bone is strictly prohibited unless the boots are transparent. That’s right: Clear boots are now the only acceptable form of above-ankle footwear at college football games — at least at SEC, ACC, and Patriot League games. With this revelation, we can only imagine the chaos that awaits as students scramble to adjust their game-day wardrobes. What will the sorority gals do without their white cowboy boots?
Unlike the clear bag rule, we don’t anticipate this rule to be picked up by the NFL.
No longer will students be able to covertly sneak in flasks. Instead, they’ll proudly display their team-colored socks and pedicures through the transparent material. And let’s not forget about the potential for custom designs and stickers to create a personalized touch.
Hello, Alabama. Can we get a “Roll Tide”?! Clear boots allow your team socks to really be on display as modeled by Bailey! Image: Instagram
The Crimson Tide ladies will have legs for days with their clear boots! We’re wondering how these will work with the South’s heat and humidity, though …
The Clear Choice: Clear Boots, That Is
In anticipation of this peculiar footwear phenomenon, we at StyleBlueprint have tried to track down fashionable, comfortable options for women (we assume the guys will simply wear sneaks from here on out). We are coming up majorly short and assume this announcement has caught the fashion industry off guard. We expect more solutions to be on the market soon, but for now, we found one boot at Walmart for $49.95. These should keep college students stylish and rule-compliant. And Walmart, a company that has become adept at working with social media influencers, is already taking advantage. We found the three examples pictured in this article today, all hawking the same boot we found.
We anticipate an array of new clear boots to be available soon, from knee-highs to cowboy boots, to accommodate even the most discerning football fanatic. But, for now, these from Walmart will have to do.
Clear Bags and Clear Boots – Security & Style Go Hand in Hand
Of course, it’s essential to mention that clear boots will join their equally transparent cousin, the clear bag. Already the only acceptable carry-in item at games, clear bags have become a staple in stadium fashion. Combining security and style, these see-through totes, backpacks, and clutches are perfect for showcasing your team spirit and coordinating with your new clear boots. Can you say “fashion touchdown”?
For all of the confusion surrounding this new regulation, one thing is apparent: Clear boots just may be the ultimate leg-lengthening wardrobe staple. Go Dawgs! Image: @ah_eats on Instagram
Chaos Awaits
As college students across the nation adjust to these new footwear regulations, we can only imagine the pandemonium that will ensue. The first game day will likely resemble a scene from a slapstick comedy, with shoe swaps and sock decisions causing mass confusion. What defines “above the ankle bone”? This will surely be tested at game #1.
Hardcore fans of cowboy boots will need to find alternative ways to show off their fashion-forward taste on game day. And those who once smuggled in flasks of liquid courage will now have to think twice before attempting such a brazen act of rebellion. Indeed, the boot ban may very well change the face of college football as we know it.
Final Thought On Clear Boots
In this over-the-top tale of clear boots, clear bags, and the lengths to which officials will go to ensure a sober college football experience, all we can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all and the image of a stadium filled with students sporting transparent footwear.
So, as you gear up for the next college football season (at least of the SEC, ACC, and Patriot League), remember to embrace the new boot rule if you want easy admission into the stadium.
Happy game day, y’all!
- Published on April 1, 2023
Our attorney says we need to make clear that this article is 100% a joke and not real.
Attorneys are no fun, but they keep us out of trouble.
We believe in laughter and April Fool’s jokes.
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